Monaloca

We finally caved to Meli’s insistence that her head of hair remain bare and free most the time. (Granted, she’ll sometimes leave a hair-clip in for hours at a stretch, but more often will pull it out within 30 minutes – usually just to see what’s there.)

Since we butchered her bangs so badly when we cut them ourselves right after her first birthday, I insisted we take her to Cool Cuts for Kids, at least for one bang trim. From now on we’ll just follow the line with our scissors at home. (Now that the deed is done I feel like they did no better than we did. And our home haircut was free.)

Melina did great. At first she wanted to sit on the horse, but quickly decided she’d rather walk around the salon and explore. Onto Mama’s lap she went! The stylist added a pretty pink bow after her trim. Melina left this in for her standard thirty minutes.

Btw, Kai chose his sister’s outfit this morning. Doesn’t she look pretty in so much pink?

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Please join me at tonight’s Left Coast Writers event, Labors of Love, Work, and Play, where I’ll be reading from my personal essay, “Stepping into Mamahood.”

The event will run from 5:30-7pm @ Book Passage in the Ferry Building, SF.

For now, attending this event is the only way to “read” this latest essay, as I’m still shopping it around and will not be posting it to my blog anytime soon.

On a semi-related note, I recently lamented to my writing friend and fellow mom how hard it is to find time to write. She mentioned she had just checked out this blog, and asked how much time I spent on it each week. I could only respond “Too much – but it’s my hobby!” to which she replied, “Cut down on the blog posts unless they’ll lead to stories. There’s your writing time.” I’m going to try to take her advice to heart, so my posts may (should) be less frequent, at least for a while.

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I’m not sure when official toddlerhood begins, but if it hadn’t already, it certainly did this past month. Some milestones and traits of mention from our growing 15-month-old!

Though she’s been walking for several months, Melina had never strayed more than 15 or so feet from us in public places. Until this past week. Suddenly she’s taking off to explore every chance she gets. Sometimes it’s out the door, or trying to close the door, or just up to some other folks (aka strangers) to say “hey.” Sometimes it’s down the street.

It doesn’t help us that she’s also running. Or more to the point, doing a fast jog-waddle complete with a synchronized giggle.

More useful to us, she started nodding her head “yes” just after 14 months. And she does it in a meaningful way. I’ll ask if she wants a banana or to read “hop pop” and she’ll usually nod yes. But when I ask if she’s wants some milk or a mushroom she’ll always give a firm head-shake NO!

Speaking of food, I officially weaned the Jelly Bean about two weeks ago. It happened fairly naturally, with the daytime dropping off first (no more pumping helped this), then the morning (she got sidetracked pretty quickly with morning play and big-people food), and finally we decided it was time to cut the bedtime feeding as well. She took to it without a single fuss. I, on the other hand, still have moments of longing for those quiet moments alone with her and feel a bit like this was the final door closing on her babyhood. Not a bad thing, I’m just eternally nostalgic.

Of course Melina’s favorite people are still Mama, Dada, and BroBro (who she distinctly called “Baby” the other day – cute). She and Kai share a room and have started socializing on occasion before they fall asleep at night, and if Kai’s lucky and Meli wakes early, also in the morning before we get her out of her crib. The other week we took some video of Meli helping BroBro wash his hair. She’s not the gentlest person in the world, but for once Kai’s on the receiving end of aggressive affection.

Favorite items? Blankie (one of five, or all at once!) and her stuffed animals. She’s started calling Kai’s stuffed lamb, Chopeater, “Baby” and likes to place him upright in her play stroller and stroll him around the house. Other favorite items: Any bottle she can get her hands on. Tiny airplane-sized bottles of port. A huge bottle of dishwashing liquid from Costco. An empty vinegar bottle. And finally: Books. She still has a hard time sitting through a whole story that’s not interactive, and prefers to bring a whole collection of books to the couch and flip back and forth between them. Joey does the same thing, so if it’s not the age it’s certainly hereditary. And hey, there’s nothing wrong with a home filled with multi-taskers.

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This morning Kai took his first step into the next stage of childhood: Kindergarten! Any nerves hid behind sheer enthusiasm and silliness. He’d spent the entire previous day shouting “It’s my last day of preschool!!!” to anyone within earshot (he did honor his preschool teachers with some beautiful Kai drawings, pictured below), and all morning bouncing from one room to the next.

I think a new favorite ritual will be packing his own lunch each school night. He’s using a lunch box Grandma and Grandpa Weiss got a while back, something he’s filled with play food for years. And now, wow. He gets to put real food inside! Once a week he’ll also partake in the school lunch program, which offers cheap organic (yes, organic! it’s Berkeley) meals, partially funded by the Alice Waters foundation.

His whole family entourage (Joey, me, and Meli plus his mom) hung out with him for the first morning sendoff on the playground then his new classroom. I’m sure before we know it we’ll be back for Melina’s first day. Yikes. In the meantime, Kai has been asking if he can stay at his new school “forever.” A good, good sign.

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Last Friday Meli enjoyed another dip in the BHS warm pool with friends Melia and Lily. She was absolutely giddy the whole time, and along with her one-year-old buddies was as interested in hanging onto the deep-end pool floaties and climbing out/jumping back into the pool as she was in the songs and directed movement.

Daddy came along to snap pictures and take video, including one of Melina taking a hand-held standing jump into the pool, and another of her bouncing to “The Grand Old Duke of York” – complete with a bonus screech that translates to “I want to grab that pool floaty NOW!”

The next day we went to a pool party for friend Daren’s birthday. Meli got to experience a non-warm pool, and Kai got to practice his swim skills just after the end of his first round of lessons.

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Last weekend we celebrated my dad’s 70th birthday with a big bash at my parents’ San Jose home. The four cousins got a chance to reunite after our Capitola trip, and my folks got a chance to show off their grandkids to their blooming group of friends. (Yes, retirement has them not only traveling but socializing more than ever!)

Melina had fun showing Grandma and Grandpa the holes in their babyproofing. She found nooks and crannies even the twins haven’t uncovered in their full year of toddlerhood thus far. Right away she noticed a floor-level, glass door in a forgotten corner. Inside my mom keeps her collection of small ceramic and glass pitchers – so colorful and tempting I’m suprised none of the other kids found them earlier.

We didn’t get a chance to clear the cabinet just then, so tried to distract her instead. Then as Kai and I lit the candles on my dad’s birthday-eve pie, I saw Meli walking towards me, carrying a beautiful green pitcher that she wanted to hand to me and wearing an enourmously proud smile. Who says boys are more mischievous than girls? Though I suppose “super curious explorer” is a the true way to describe our little girl!

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It took me less than one month to come to terms with the fact that two part-time jobs, two kids, my own writing, and everything else we have going on is just too much to handle at once. I gave notice to WaMu on Monday, and feel good about restoring a tiny bit of sanity to my life by the end of the month. I’ll be able to devote more energy to Big Tent, will still have play time with Jelly Bean every Monday afternoon, and will even re-gain my writing day. Needless to say, I’ll also be able to spend more quality time with my family as a whole.

Now I have the task of cleaning out my cube and files at the job I held for my entire pregnancy, and the place I returned to work part-time when my daughter was just six months old. It feels hard, and I’m realizing that it has nothing to do with how much I enjoyed this job. (It was a fine job, but nothing special.) It has everything to do with all the associations this place holds for me, all the happy memories of a time in my life I hold incredibly dear: Walks around the block with my bulging belly; walks to visit Joey in the office with our little newborn in tow; papering my cube walls with pictures of my six-month-old because I missed her so terribly when I first returned to work; dutifully pumping in the converted shower room; doing the morning commute rounds with Joey: drop off Kai, drop off Meli, drive ourselves to our shared workplace.

But now Melina is practically running, Kai is starting kindergarten, and I have a chance to flex my brain’s strategy muscles once again. In a sense, career-wise I’ve spent the last two years recharging. Now it’s time to re-engage!

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Last week we took off for a long weekend in Capitola with the Weiss clan, meaning our family, my folks, and my sister and family. It looks like we have an annual tradition in the making, and already Kai has his favorite things he looks forward to. Number one on his list? “The little cereal boxes that Grandma Nancy brings.”

Of course we took tons of fun photos all weekend long – so enjoy!

Highlights included a wonderfully sunny day on the beach, an afternoon trip to the boardwalk, and Melina’s first ice cream cone. Joey and I got to sneak out with Stacie and German a few nights for a glass of wine across the street – also a great treat! We had to leave mid-week to return to work, but the Hams and my parents are still enjoying the sand and surf. My mom called today and mentioned that Lucas and Noah keep asking for Melina and Kai. Don’t worry, guys, we’ll see you again soon!

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Life is certainly busy these days, for us working adults but also for our burgeoning toddler. Melina constantly finds things to try out and places to explore. She can’t even get through one story book without heading to the shelf to pick out another. In little snippets, here’s what she’s up to. Happy 14 months, Jelly Bean!

Explore: Meli’s favorite activity is to destroy our house. She’s pretty good about sticking to the “in-bounds” areas (drawers, baskets, and bookshelves that are safe for her… granted this is most our house). But she’ll pull these areas apart within five minutes of entering a room.

She’s super curious about how things work, and very interested in putting things back together: The lid on her sippy cup, her sippy cup back on the coaster, her shoes on her feet, her hair clip that she pulled off back on her head… you get the picture. She has varying degrees of success depending on the task. Amazingly, she’s pretty persistent and doesn’t seem to get frustrated too easily unless she’s tired.

She’s walking very quickly now. Last week at the park she nearly broke into a run to chase after some dogs. Since she hasn’t yet figured out the running thing it was just a very quick waddle, and (at least to her mama) adorable.

“Talk”: She’s talking up a storm and trying to refine her babble. Banana – her new favorite food – is now either “abana” or just “b” The dog doesn’t say “woof,” he says “f,” and the cow says “mmmm.” She shakes her head “no” quite frequently, sometimes when she means yes. The real “no” is obvious, though. It includes a hand gesture brushing the air (or object) away.

Eat/Drink: Our “good eater” still hates milk with a passion. It’s the one thing she never fails to push away firmly. And by milk I mean all kinds but mama’s: cow, soy, rice, even chocolate. For some reason she does tolerate it in cereal, so I’m hopeful she’ll come around to drinking it one day. She’s not a huge fan of chocolate, period. Hmmm. Is she really our child?

Sleep: Unlike her half-brother, Melina is not a morning person. She usually wakes up cranky around 6am, and either fusses back to sleep or I nurse her and she goes back down without a fuss. Then she’ll often sleep til 9 or even 10 – if we let her- and this time wakes up happy but a little groggy. Guess she’s our kid after all!

Play: Meli loves water and was really bummed when she couldn’t get into the pool with Kai at a recent swim lesson. She also loves balls and her blankie and likes to play with crayons and paper. Sometimes she draws a real line or two. I bought her some big-grip toddler markers (albeit for 18+ months) at Target last week. I was super excited and she seemed so too, but didn’t quite understand they had to be facing a certain way for the ink to touch the paper. All three markers landed on the floor within five minutes.

In final 14-month news, we just found out Melina is graduating to the Toddler table at daycare. (Same room, but more activities like walks in the courtyard.) Her tenure with the Waddlers passed so quickly, but apparently she’s walking and self-feeding well enough to move on over – and according to her favorite teacher, a bit earlier than normal. Yay, Jelly Bean!

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About a month ago my sister’s best childhood friend tracked me down to pick my brain about the company she co-founded, bigtent.com. By the end of our first conversation she had piqued my interest, enough for me to head to SF for an informational interview, Melina in tow. (Side note: Taking my 13-month-old to an office interview was both crazy and cool. She did great for the first hour, then started “bubbling over,” as one co-worker recently put it. I’m sure she was bored to tears.)

Needless to say, after another round of more formal interviews (sans toddler), I got the job. I now consult part-time for Big Tent in addition to my part time work as a copy writer in the East Bay. In addition to working on my own writing and being part of an active writing group. In addition to raising a toddler and helping raise a five-year-old boy. In addition to being incredibly social and having plans every spare moment of the week. In addition to trying to find time for just Joey and me. Phew! I don’t really have time for this. But start-up life is so invigorating it spills new energy into every aspect of the rest of my life. And that’s a very good thing.

I’ve worked in the SF office three days now over the past two weeks. Some notes:

• Unlike my first round of startup work (from around age 23-30), this time, I am the expert! They hired me specifically to consult on various aspects a big content project. Just the other day one colleague introduced me as “our writer and mentor.” Sweet.
• They have snacks in the break room. And lots of them, all from Costco. Chocolate, nuts, granola bars, even cheese. I’m going to gain 10 pounds.
• The commute to the City is kindofa drag. It takes about 50 minutes and includes a long walk on both sides or a transfer from BART to Muni. My commute to my other, East Bay job is less than one mile. Ironically, the EB commute often takes 50 minutes as well, since we have to drop off one or two kids at daycare across a medium-sized town. Put in this perspective, the City commute ain’t half bad.
• They have regular happy hours, and group outings to events like Giants’ games. Five years ago I would have joined in for every single event. Now I have to say “with enough advance notice…” and check in with Joey about watching the Jelly Bean and my own sanity about not taking on too much. For real.

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