Monaloca

We had a follow-up ultrasound today (at 25 1/2 weeks). The doctor’s exact words were “Yup, 90% it’s a girl. But that’s definitely not a boy!” He even pointed out the labia between the legs, but said he refused to give 100% for girls, ever. I guess with the absence of parts you just don’t know for sure know until they’re born.

We’re excited about giving Kai a little (half) sister, my folks are thrilled to add a baby girl to their grandchildren, Joey’s mom was already calling it a girl, and my sister – who has twin boys – will be ecstatic that she can finally buy little dresses!

Speaking of the twins, Noah and Lucas (order they appear in the pic) turned one last weekend. We drove up to Roseville to help them celebrate. Kai was just as excited about staying in a hotel and eating Lucky Charms at the breakfast buffet, but did enjoy playing with “cousin” Emmitt at the party.

As for me, I can’t wait to welcome our baby into the world. But I won’t be 100% convinced she’s a she until she greets us in person 🙂

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February 1-3

We arrived in Mendocino as the sun set and Milo and Cassandra were starting to prepare a delicious home-cooked meal. We thank them greatly for their hospitality, generosity, and many precious moments with 19-month old Julia.

Some of our fun included a tour of the headlands with Milo, many mellow strolls through the streets and shops of the quaint town, and a slow walk in the woods with Julia vacillating between running ahead and wanting to be carried. We also enjoyed a full moon that broke through the high clouds each night to light up the country sky.

By the time we had to say good-bye on Saturday, Julia was so used to having us around that she refused to give us a hug or say bye bye, and instead pointed to the floor in an emphatic statement of “you stay!” then ran to block the door. We’ll see you again soon, Julia…

We got home to Berkeley late Saturday, just in time to do bunches of laundry and get ready for the Super Bowl party we were hosting the next day. Of course the party had nothing to do with being big football fans (we’re not) and everything to do with an excuse to have people over!

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Sunshine appeared as soon as we left the immediate Point Reyes region, and it followed us all the way up the coast to Mendocino. Glorious, clear winter light striking the waves greeted us at every turn of this infamous stretch of highway.

I offered (ok, begged) to drive one of the worst parts, because I get carsick very easily and can’t take Dramamine while I’m pregnant. Anyone who suffers motion sickness knows that taking the wheel often stops it. Weird.

Unfortunately, Joey looked a little green by the time we stopped at Fort Ross for a picnic in the wind-chilled sunshine and a tour of this isolated yet somehow homey fortress that I adore every time I visit. Fyi: the picture of the church was taken through an old glass window, so the larger image will have a funky warped texture.

We also stopped at plenty of small towns along the way, including Tomales to pick up some candy, and at various overlooks to take in the view without fear of driving off a cliff. Yes, at five-plus months I’m looking more and more pregnant every day!

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January 29-31

About a month ago Joey heard a random factoid on the news: Point Reyes Lighthouse (just an hour up the coast from San Francisco) is the foggiest place in California. We have a lot of fog here, so I was dubious… until we spent a couple nights in Olema, a tiny town at the entrance to the National Seashore.

That morning we had left the isolated redwoods of Big Sur for a relaxing drive up the coast, stopping along the way at sleepy, sea-side towns like Capitola and Half Moon Bay before winding our way through West Marin. Here, the big towns have maybe a couple hundred people, and Olema is only in the double digits.

We arrived at our B&B at dusk to find the innkeeper gone, a note on the door, and a key “hidden” in the porch bench, and the entire house to ourselves. We had a hard time finding a place to eat (it seems a lot around Point Reyes closes on Mondays and Tuesdays), and by the time we settled in the living room in front of a log-burning stove and with chocolate-covered almonds (me) and port (Joey) at our sides, the only sound we heard above the crackling wood was the wind whipping against the trees outside. It felt magnificent, eery, and peaceful all at once.

The isolation sweeps even larger onto the Point Reyes peninsula itself. We started the next day with a walk along the Earthquake trail, a short path that leads to the epicenter of the 1906 earthquake. Two sides of a fence, 20 feet apart, show the magnitude of the rift that was created just 100 years ago. Later we drove around 40 minutes to the end of Sir Francis Drake Blvd to see the lighthouse and elephant seal colony at Chimney Rock. Along the way we passed endless fields of rolling green, ranches steeped in solitude with cows that roamed the narrow road, and empty, wind-blown beaches that stretched to the horizon in both directions. All the while a high grey fog hovered over our heads and salt air tingled our noses.

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January 27-29

We got lucky with the weather on our trip. The only major rain we hit was right at the beginning, just as we pulled into quaint (and pricey) downtown Carmel. We only stayed long enough for a hot chocolate and sandwich, and were soon headed 30 miles down Highway One to the Big Sur Lodge. That night the sky cleared (we even got to take a walk in the redwoods at dusk) and the stars shone brightly above us. Aaaaah, heaven.

We spent the next day reveling in the chilly outdoors, still glistening from the rain but splashed with bright winter sunshine. After months of feeling cooped up inside (our house, the office, friends’ homes) with only an occasional walk through Tilden Park, the towering redwoods and fresh air were pure bliss. We hiked to a waterfall and lookout point in Pfeiffer Big Sur State Park. As you can see, Baby (23 gestational weeks) enjoyed the hike, too! Btw, you can click all my images to see larger versions.

By mid-afternoon we headed back to our car and drove to gorgeous Nepenthe for a quick bite and a latte. The wait at this iconic Big Sur venue wasn’t horrible (late January after all), but we did pay the price: $15 for a turkey and avocado sandwich! Yikes. Luckily we shared, and it was delicious.

Joey then showed me the Henry Miller Library. I can’t believe I’ve never been here before, especially since my friend Mark (who is well read and loves the Beat generation) was the first to introduce me to Big Sur. The library is an eclectic venue, with a sculpture garden, bookstore, and free coffee and wireless on the deck. If it hadn’t been so cold we would have stayed longer.

We decided to take one final walk before dinner at Deetjens (delicious!) that evening. On our drive to Julia Pfeiffer Burns State Park large drops of rain fell on our windshield, but sunshine still covered the sea. We opened our umbrellas for the 1/4-mile walk from the parking lot to the coast to see what is supposedly California’s only waterfall into the ocean. By the time we got through the short tunnel under the highway, the rain had cleared. The afternoon was once again brilliant, and we even saw the tail end of a wedding in the clearing overlooking the sea

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On Saturday we leave for a last pre-baby vacation: a road trip along the California coast. We’re starting in Big Sur, then will make our way up to Point Reyes Station and finally to Mendocino, where we’ll stay with friends Milo and Cassandra and baby (oops, she’s a toddler now!) Julia. I’m very excited about this time away, the chance to be mellow, hike, read or write by a fire while sipping tea, and just BE with my husband without the interruptions of daily life.

Before I got pregnant we were planning a trip to Japan this spring. Even after the stick showed us two pink lines for positive, we planned to make the trip in my second trimester, right around now, as a last international fling before baby. Then morning sickness hit – in fact it completely floored me – Joey opened his store, and eventually we decided that it might be best to stay a little more local for this final solo getaway.

Travel and adventure have always been such an important part of my life that it’s a little scary to think about how much of it I’ll be giving up, at least for the next few years while our child is very young. I know we’ll continue to travel, and will seek plenty of international destinations, but a tiny part of me still craves the autonomy of just a few years ago, when the only person I had to answer to was myself and the world was my playground. Of course, sometimes it did feel like a very lonely playground.

One of my co-workers is a month ahead of me in her pregnancy. A few weeks ago she mentioned, “I’m definitely starting to nest.” She’s cleaning out the baby’s room, knitting blankets, and admits, “I just don’t have the same desire to go out anymore.?”

Since Kai came into my life almost three years ago and we bought the house over two years ago, I’ve been in a half-nest situation, too. The nest is comforting. And so is the reality that we’re able to initiate happy hours, go out for adult-only dinners, and take short jaunts abroad from time to time.

Not going to Japan isn’t as disappointing as I thought it would be. Yet here I am writing about it, so I know I’m not completely sold on a life of complete domesticity. I’m sure my attitude will change – many times in the coming months, and more completely over time.

In the meantime, all I can say is: I hope baby likes to travel!

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very stubborn baby! We had our detailed ultrasound earlier this week. It’s the one at 20-21 weeks where, along with looking to make sure the baby is developing correctly, they can usually tell gender. Our little one was extremely active but refused to completely uncross its legs the entire time (at least 40 minutes in all) we were there.

“Well, it’s about an 80% chance it’s a girl,” the doctor finally said, based on not seeing a penis but also on seeing two white lines in the crotch area. Apparently girls show three distinct white lines, and (from what I gather) boys have one light one. With its legs crossed, ours showed only two and they couldn’t rule out something else tucked between its legs. The doc was kind enough to arrange for a follow-up ultrasound in a month, but I’m not counting on knowing for sure until the little one pops out in four or five months. Oh – and everything else with the baby is great!

Before the ultrasound, it was a little strange having a person growing inside of me yet not knowing whether it was a he or a she. Calling it “it” started to feel so impersonal and abstract. Kai, my stepson, simply started assuming it was a boy. “Kai, why do you think it’s a boy?” we’d’ ask. “Because his name is he!” he’d answer, in perfect 3 1/2-year-old logic.

In a weirdly related tangent of my life, a friend is seriously considering transitioning – taking the leap and having surgery to change her biology from female to male. I’ve already confessed to her that while I support her 100%, on a personal level I can’t quite relate, and on a practical and even theoretical level I don’t see how it will work with the myriad of people in her life who know her as a woman. It’s too complicated to go into here, but this feels right to her, she has been and will continue to think it through fully, every step of the way, and that’s what matters. Alex is a wonderful, large-hearted human being who will always be and mean the same to me whether a she or a he.

Even though we didn’t learn anything definitive from the ultrasound, for some reason not knowing no longer feels so strange. I feel the baby kicking on a regular basis, and no longer just when I’m lying down quietly. In fact it’s kicking right now, saying “Look, here I am!” And yes, now 80% of the time I imagine it’s a girl – but you never know. It’s a little life with its own personality and that’s what matters.

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It’s only now, after the incapacitating nausea of my first trimester and the mad flurry of the holidays, that I’m able to reflect on all the changes that have already happened in our lives, even before the little one arrives.

Back in September, I quit my fulltime job in SF to work as a part-time content strategist in an office just a mile from my house. The idea? I spend the other part of my time working on my writing. In a case of ironic timing, I found out I was pregnant the day after giving notice at my previous job, and my morning sickness kicked into full gear on my first day “free” to write.

Luckily I’m now in a space where I’m able to function once again, to work with my characters and create the worlds in which they live…. at the same time that I’m creating a little life inside me, and looking to fix up the room and space in which he or she will soon live.

My husband has also been busy. In October Joey followed his own dream and opened a game store in North Berkeley! Take a look: Green Griffon Games.

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Hello. My name is Laralynn though many people call me Lynn. I live in Berkeley, CA with my husband, three-year-old stepson, and a baby on the way!

I’m starting this blog as a way to share my three biggest joys in life: family, travel, and writing. Over the coming months (and years!) I’ll be adding photo galleries from my travels, home life, and friends, plus snippets of my writing, both published and not. I invite you to look around, make comments, and enjoy, and request only that you ask permission before using any of my photos or writing.

To learn more about why I chose the name monaloca and what the header image is, visit the about page.

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