Monaloca

The countdown is on! My last day at work was Tuesday, so from now until baby’s arrival I have time for nothing but peace, quiet, and tackling all my personal projects – not to mention final prep for wee one, though we’re almost as ready as we’re going to be.

About a month ago I made a conscious decision to put my writing on the back burner until later this year. Ironically, I’ve since been inspired to pick it up again. Turns out my wedding essay the local magazine really liked wasn’t a good fit for any upcoming issues (yes, I was very bummed) but the editor encouraged me to submit anything I might have to both a parenting anthology and an upcoming issue on summer days. I’m working on a step-parenting piece right now (which is a bit of a scary internal endeavor, but turning out quite well), and just submitted a new piece on a childhood memory from summertime in Yosemite.

I’ve decided to post that piece, Bubble Fairies, on this site. As I re-read and proofed the essay on Tuesday, I teared up each time I got to the last paragraph. This seems incredibly self-indulgent, to cry at my own writing, but it all ties back to the passing of generations and having my own baby very soon. You’ll have to read it yourself to understand why.

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Despite my growing discomfort with my large, off-balance belly, I am cherishing these final weeks.

It’s absolutely awe-inspiring to think of the little life inside of me, how much she has already grown since conception, and what a a special time we’re both experiencing right now.

She’s more of a constant presence than ever, with her seemingly incessant hiccups, her stretches and jabs into my right ribcage, her butt (we think it’s her butt) poking up to the left to completely distort my belly.

We also receive constant congrats, smiles, and just plain kindness from strangers on the street.

Sometimes I forget how obviously pregnant I am (though less and less as each day passes and my belly grows), and for a split second wonder why these people are so nice. It’s reassuring to realize that such humanity still exists, even in a large urban area.

Many thanks to Cassandra for the fabulous belly and family photos!

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Our due date is May 27. Wow, one month. We’re getting so close! I figure Baby will join us in the world anytime between two and six weeks from now. As a friend commented the other day, we’ll probably never be “ready” but we’re at least close to being prepared. Just a couple more days at work and a few runs to Babies r Us, Rockridge Kids, and Target.

The kindness of our friends and family displayed itself last Saturay, with our “bring the whole family!” baby shower that Stacie and German hosted. Thank you to all for the fun time and cute and practical gifts. Finally, congrats to Jennie (pictured above with me) and Dave on the birth of little Raycer (the Vanderbaby) on Tuesday!

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A friend recently responded to life’s endless complications by saying she wished she could just run a fish taco shack somewhere on an island. Sounds pretty blissful, doesn’t it? Her comment reminded my of an ex pat I met in Belize five or so years ago. This guy packed up his whole Pacific Northwest life and moved down to Ambergris Caye to open a pizza shack in a bamboo-covered trailer. He even invested in a tiny golf cart (the only mode of transport on the island) for deliveries.

For kicks, on my return to Cali I wrote a story about Dave and had it posted on the online travel forum BootsnAll: PepperOni, Island Style

The story is now five years old and not exactly a sample of my best writing, but it’s a fun little blast from the past for me. Enjoy!

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It’s hard to believe a year has flown by since Joey and I were married. Of course, it also feels like we’ve been together for a lifetime. We had planned to spend our anniversary day hiking in Marin and strolling through Sausalito, but the weather isn’t cooperating. Last year our wedding day welcomed one of the first dry, sunny spots amidst six straight weeks of rain. Yay! This year April 14th brings grey skies and rain amidst a huge dry spell. Haha. Oh wait – looks like the sun is peeking out and we’re in for a nice day trip after all.

In honor of our one year anniversary, I’m finally posting a bunch of our wedding photos to this site. Yippee! Note there are four pages, and you can click the thumbnails to see larger versions (standard these days, right?). Our photographer was the amazing Sharon Dawson of Dawson Studios.

Our friend Cassandra also tested out her new camera at our wedding, and has since started her own Mendocino-based wedding photography business. Best of luck to Cassandra during her first full wedding season. And check out the pic – I’m the face of her business card!

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We had our first of two showers this past weekend, at a family friend’s home in San Jose. It was loads of fun, and the explosion of baby clothes and gear in our living room attests to wee one’s imminent arrival!

Kai has also had a couple big weekends in a row. We celebrated his birthday on March 25, then he was showered with more bday and “big brother” gifts the day of the shower. Grandpa Gary and (great) Uncle Ray delivered his big brother bed (ie, twin-sized to replace the space-hogging full) and he later helped Daddy put together the crib. And yes, he truly did help.

Photos are of my 7-month belly, Kai’s bday party, and a trip to the park in San Jose.

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Now that I’m firmly in my third trimester, I’m noticing a trend.

It seems whenever the topic of birthing comes up with soon-to-be or new moms, women tend to fall squarely in one camp or another. Either: “They offer the drugs for a reason, I’ll take whatever I can get!” or: “I want a natural childbirth at all costs.”

I’m much more of a pragmatist. I’d love to have a natural childbirth – I’m not crazy about possible drug side effects on the baby or myself. Plus, this is a natural event, right? But I also have no idea what I’m getting into, what I’ll feel at the time of delivery, or what complications might arise that would benefit from medical intervention.

A few months ago my prenatal yoga teacher announced her upcoming hypnobirthing workshop. Since I was still on the fence about drugs, I asked if hypnobirthing was compatible with both natural and drug-aided childbirth. “Absolutely,” she said without hesitation. “The whole point of hypnobirthing is to condition you for the most relaxed, enjoyable childbirth possible, period.”

The hypnobirthing philosophy is based on relaxation and letting go, mostly of the fear that western culture has built around childbirth – what should be a natural event and not something to be “labored” through. The idea is that the more relaxed you are, the less tense your muscles are, and the easier it is for your baby to move down the birth path and into the world.

Joey and I took the workshop, and for the past six weeks have been practicing regularly. He leads me through breathing exercises and visualizations, all with the purpose of training myself to go into a self-induced trance (another word for what is simply deep relaxation).

Someone from our workshop shared the recent hypnobirthing story of a friend: She began to focus in a dimly lit room as soon as she arrived at the hospital. 90 minutes later, her baby was born! I’m not expecting labor that brief, but it’s still quite inspiring.

We’ll see what path our little one decides to take when joining us in the world, and if medical involvement is absolutely necessary, we won’t hesitate to take it. I feel like what we’ve practiced will be invaluable with or without drugs, and really, in many situations in life.

As a side note, I finally found someone with the same pragmatism around childbirth. Jennie (new friend from yoga) is expecting in just four weeks, has gone through a hypnobirthing workshop, and as a former nurse feels “I might very well go for the drugs once I’m there!”

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Now that my belly is really showing, I’ve started to experience what I’m sure every new mother goes through: The tactlessness of people’s comments, especially when those people are strangers. Luckily they’ve all been harmless and kinda funny. To share a few from the last week or so:

The clueless store clerk. I recently walked into REI, minding my own business in (maternity-sized) jeans and t-shirt. Instead of a standard greeting from the clerk near the front door, this girl with braces and long disheveled hair practically exploded with “Wow! You’re about ready to pop!” I just shook my head and said “Nope, another couple months.” Obviously she’s never paid heed to a woman who’s nearing term.

The well-meaning co-worker. A co-worker I don’t really know (but who also just had a baby) innocently asked when mine was due. I said end of May, and her immediate reaction was “OH… MY… GOD!” followed by a long pause. I had no idea how to take this, and probably looked at her in silence or mumbled something about how “yeah, it’s coming up quick.” Luckily she finally clarified herself, saying “You’re so tiny! How could you be in your third trimester?”

My super excited stepson. We picked up Kai at preschool, where he’s been telling his teachers, friends, and even parents of friends all about the new baby and how much he’s going to help. After chatting with his teacher and gathering belongings from his cubby, we walked to the door to say goodbye. But before we could leave Kai lifted my shirt to bare belly, shouting, “Miss Shannon, Miss Shannon, look! It’s the baby! Look!!” Miss Shannon smiled and said “Yes, Kai, that’s great!” while I’m sure I blushed before pushing my shirt back down. We’re ecstatic about his excitement, but know very well it might change once the baby arrives and turns all our worlds upside down!

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Some may wonder how my writing is going, since I’ve been working part time for the past few months in an attempt to create some space for this creative endeavor. In a nutshell, I’d say it’s going ok, but not quite as I had expected.

To illustrate, here’s a snippet of my “writing life” from a couple weeks ago. All this happened in one day, not a bit of it involved actual writing, but it all (even the stalls and the rejections) felt like an odd sort of progress.

• Received by email the revised manuscript of a short story due to appear in a forthcoming anthology. Very exciting!
• Followed up on a wedding-themed submission to a local magazine and was told they’d get to it “next week” but were still possibly interested. (As a follow-up, I heard from them again a few days ago. They liked the piece and are definitely interested – as long as they do a wedding issue in June. Yippee! Even with the caveat, huge confidence booster.)
• Followed up on a submission to a travel anthology and was told by Out of Office message that the editor had left the company. Contacted him directly (he’s a personable guy who I’ve met) and found he has to shop around for a new publisher but would be happy to hold onto my essay in the meantime. Hmmmm.
• Got word that a second personal essay was rejected by an online magazine. Have a feeling it just wasn’t a good match.

In December I had an incredible burst of creative productivity, due partially to feeling healthy again but mostly to some very real deadlines: I wrote over 20 (first draft) pages of my novel and worked on character development with the support of a workshop, and I completed an essay around the theme “the trip that changed my life.”

These days I continue to refine my characters and write short sketches for my novel, while also trying to put my completed work out there as much as possible. I think I’ve been in the corporate world too long. It’s all a much slower process than I ever expected! The good news is that, ironically, this alleviates some of the pressure and allows me to let my creativity work at its own pace. Ok who am I kidding… a deadline is always the most successful motivator!

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I wanted to see snow this winter. No matter that I can’t ski while pregnant – I missed the serenity of freshly-covered mountains and the softness of falling snow. I also wanted one last weekend with adult friends before the baby arrives. Joey (somewhat reluctantly – we have so much going on!) agreed, and we rented a fabulous cabin in South Tahoe along with Melissa, Patricia, Kitt, and Brian.

While the others were skiing/boarding, Joey, Melissa, and I rented snowshoes and traipsed around the shin-to-knee-deep powder behind the cabin, which butted up against extensive forest land yet was just a few miles from the casinos. In the late afternoons we baked brownies, made dinner, and watched movies (thumbs up for “The Illusionist”) and at night played games or gambled. Aaaaah, relaxation at its finest!

We didn’t expect our same luck getting home as we’d had driving up Friday afternoon. (We girls and Joey made it up in a record 3 1/2 hours, including a lunch stop.) But we also weren’t prepared for what awaited us when we left the cabin around 11:30 on Sunday morning: a 12-plus hour ordeal, with the first eight hours spent going a total of six or seven miles just to get us out of Tahoe proper.

We started with a skid-out driving down our quiet street. From there, snow fell continuously, wind whipped an extra layer of powder onto the roads, we caved and bought/had chains installed on our rented 4WD SUV, and at one point long after night fell I had to pee so badly that I climbed into knee-deep snow next to a Chevron station and mooned the cars driving by at 5mph. I’m betting all these travelers were as weary as we were and didn’t bat an eye. And it beat standing in a 40-minute bathroom line in the frigid night air.

Rain had never looked so fine as when we finally reached Placerville around 10pm, and by midnight we were greeted by a whining cat at our door back in Berkeley. I realize it’s going to take years and a lot of convincing to get Joey to do another winter snow trip, but for me it was still worth it. It’ll be even better next time when I can ski, too! Though next time I’ll probably pick a destination other than South Tahoe…

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